Sunday, May 2, 2010

When i die, then i die loving you



Dear Bobbie,
Do you remember when you were young and very pretty?
I do, i remember pleated skirts, black and white saddle shoes,
Do you remember dancing that night? I do
I still think of you when we dance
Although we can't jitterbug as we did then

I stumbled across an old Yellowcard song rotting in my ipod- Dear Bobbie. Way back when, i gave it a listen and immediately dismissed it, just as i did Konstantine and His Dark Materials which respectively became one of my most beloved song and books. Though it isn't personal anthem material, it's not difficult to just close your eyes and put yourselves in the shoes of a man grown grey, still loving and being loved by the girl he fell in love with way back when.

Do you remember the times
We would give up on each other, then get back together?
Then we finally was married in nineteen forty nine
We drove the yellow convertible all night long
So you remember? I do

It may be a little hard figuring out how the lyrics i've typed out would fit in a song. The song is of course, written by Ryan Key for his grandparents. And the lyrics above and to come aren't sung by him. No, they're play out in the voice of an old man who's happy looking back on his life, played by none other than Ryan's 87 year old grandfather, reading a letter he wrote to his wife. It's an inspired, inspiring song. Yellowcard doesn't cease to amaze me as i stumble across their old songs every once in a while. From my initial perceptions of them as nothing much more than catchy mainstream, to my discovery of the more sentimental 1 Year 6 Months, onto the angst-filled, workout-playlist-worthy yet at the same time incredibly orchestrally beautiful Gifts and Curses And now, this.

You have grey hair now, but you're a, a beautiful woman
The years have been good to both of us
We walk slow now but we still have each other
The glue of love is still binding us together
That is what i remember
Do you remember?

This is to the band that brought us the wildest of tales of a man not so tall, taking us way away from here, to that empty apartment where you forget where the heart is, cause in this city of devils we live, just maybe, if we all believe in heaven, maybe we could make it through one more year....If anyone understood all of that perfectly, i really like your taste in music :)


But wait, there is yet another song from them worth a good listen. Classic film buffs, hear, hear! A tribute to The Breakfast Club by Yellowcard- a reinvention of the classic teen anthem- Don't You Forget About Me. :D


Currently Reading : Dante's Inferno (Canto XVIII)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The only road i've ever been down

The pressure's sinking in now, which isn't a particularly promising time to give birth to a new vessel of thought for the long term. Reading back in the future, is this what i want to look back to: complaints of the SATs next week and my struggle with Further Math? I don't know what i want to be when i grow up. Which doesn't leave me with a lot of time to decide. Will i be an engineer, an architect, a lecturer or maybe an author? The future is ever so obscure but i wish i could take a glimpse into the future, if only to see if i'm happy doing whatever it is. Just like how all i need to know is that i WILL conquer Further Maths and i'll have no regrets giving it my all right now. But what if i never get it? Should i just drop it to focus on the other 3 subjects? Life would certainly be a lot more carefree. But i resist. My pride will not relent in this yet.

So this is my attempt in keeping a blog free of enigmatic phrases strung together in a convoluted mess. This is simply how i feel, whether or not it's petty, banal or twisted. Though i think sometimes i won't be able to help it, especially when i'm high with the night or for lack of a better understanding of myself.

I'm not sure exactly how i feel now about romance. I thought college would be a fresh start, with a whole new world of people who could steal my heart, but i remain unmoved. No one so much as inspires me. No one lives with such poetry that its effluent grace spills into my heart. Still, i turn back and reminisce. Something was wrong, and i cannot make it right again. And i can't go back. But she's still the best i've ever had. And so finally, i'm contently lost, eschewed from what would've been another longing. Maybe the waves have finally overcome the tombola and has left this island in peace and self-sufficiency.

It's time to work towards becoming the man i want to be. Shed away the excuses, make no apologies. Never give up, never back down.

No change, i can't change, i can't change, i can't change
But i'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold.

Currently Reading: Dante's Inferno
Listening To: Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve